Monday 27 May 2019

The 5 Rules Of Couple Therapy by Dr. Keith Ablow

“When all the fights stop, so does the passion.”
Living in a stressful marriage can be really depressing. The painful feeling that this could be the end of everything can be haunting and stressing. When in such a situation, you might feel that there’s nothing that will help solve the relationship issues.
Dr. Keith Ablow, an active practitioner of couples therapy, tells that couples refrain from undertaking therapy and marriage counselling. It is a common notion that therapy is ineffective that restricts couples from seeking counselling. Statistics tell that around 50% of the couples in the US have filed for divorce in 2018.

There can be many reasons behind an unsuccessful relationship including coordination, understanding, lack of quality time spent together, and efforts to make it work.

Below mentioned are the 5 rules of effective couples counselling.

Stop the blame game: The most important rule of effective couples therapy is to stop the blame game. According to Keith Ablow, a potential reason behind friction between couples is putting the blame on each other for problems. This should be avoided as much as possible for a healthy relationship development. When undertaking counselling, the therapist tries to understand the perspective of both the partners and tries to objectively frame the problem. Also, therapy will depend on the type of issue being faced by the couple.

Change in behaviour: With couples therapy, an individual can experience considerable change in the behaviour. They learn to tackle their problems themselves with patience. Couples will learn the importance of understanding each other’s point of view and take necessary steps for a healthy relationship.

Learn to face your problems: This is an issue that is responsible for majority of problems in a relationship. A couple must understand that blaming each other will only escalate the problem. Accepting the faults will aid in facing the problem together. This way the couple will be able to find solutions of the issues together and progress.

Better communication: A couples therapy program focuses on improving the communication between the couples. Communicating is important for fostering better understanding. Couples are explained about the situations that cause conflicts and arguments.

Strengthen the relationship: Couples therapy is a program that helps in inculcating understanding, coordination, and communication between couples. These are the pillars that strengthen a relationship and minimizes conflicts.

Dr. Keith Ablow Psychiatrist quotes that “Very often, couples wait five or ten or even twenty years to really know one another and understand why they chose to take a lifelong journey together. The alchemy of marriage is such that treasures of both compassion and passion may not be unearthed, until difficulties arise. Crises in marriage are always opportunities.”

Relationships are stories with numerous chapters. Even the most painful chapter can be the beginning of a new phase if you take the positive road.

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